Nawazuddin Siddiqui might have mostly played only grim, sad and revolting roles; but his life off-screen is not as colourless and drab as the onscreen one. From blink-and-miss roles in Sarfarosh and Shool to winning over the world with his performances in films like Kahaani and Lunchbox, Nawazuddin has created quite a niche for himself. And in his book, An Ordinary Life, Nawaz spoke at length about his life on and off the camera.

Revealing about a one night stand in New York, a while after Lunchbox, Nawaz had written, "Those years between 2006 and 2010 were pretty incredible too. The industry had begun to notice me... Strangely, the West was kinder to me first, both in terms of love and work... I was at a cafe once with my friend in New York City's Soho area. 

Nawazuddin Siddiqui memoir
Nawazuddin Siddiqui memoirTwitter

The stunning waitress kept staring at me... 'You? You are an actor?' she asked a rhetorical question. 'Yes!' I replied. 'Which film of mine did you see? Gangs of Wasseypur?' She squinted, trying to remember, 'No, no,' she said. 'Another film!' After a few moments, she responded: 'Lunchbox!' We got talking and let's just say what happens in New York stays in New York..."

Contemplating suicide

In the book, Nawaz had also spoken about how he was once contemplating suicide. Talking about those days, the actor had said, "Living in Mira Road meant that the local train was our lifeline. We were at the station almost all the time. Soon after her call, one day I was at the station and stood there staring at the tracks.

A train was coming, screaming its arrival with a lusty horn. It would be simple and instant. Should I jump on to the tracks and end it all? End this struggle, end this life? I had nothing. No love, no work, no money. But some being woke up in me and gave me a metaphorical slap. 'You know this is not your department,' the voice in my head said. 'Then why? Why did you go that way? Why!' it screamed at me.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui in Babumoshai Bandookbaaz
Nawazuddin Siddiqui in Babumoshai BandookbaazTwitter

The train sped away, screaming pompously, cutting through the air... I decided that I would never again be emotional in any relationship... Never again did I allow myself to be vulnerable like that again, not even with my wife... Yet it was important to analyse what had happened... [Sunita must have been advised] she should probably date someone successful, not a struggling, desperate actor who was out of work. Today, Sunita tells everybody that she was once together with me in a very serious relationship. Incredible, isn't it?

Withdrawing the book

Nawaz's book courted a lot of controversy with many women mentioned in the book claiming that he had tried to tarnish their image and had written the story from only his perspective, which was not the truth. Nawazuddin had then decided to withdraw his book from the market.