Amid an ongoing standoff with India over the Doklam region, China over the past couple of days revealed a weirder side of itself through two different developments. 

In one, it issued an advisory to its citizens looking to visit India, warning that "natural disasters, traffic accidents and infectious diseases" occur frequently in the country. 

In another, its Ministry of Defence advised young men applying to the army to stay off fatty foods, an overall sedentary lifestyle and even masturbation in order to pass the military's physical tests. It actually listed the aforementioned as reasons behind a significant rise in people failing the army's military tests!

India-China trade
[Representational image]Reuters

Advisory on India

China on Thursday, August 24, released an advisory to its citizens looking to visit India, warning them against potential dangers that await them in the country. 

"There frequently occurred natural disasters, traffic accidents and infectious diseases in India," it said in one part of the advisory. It added that there are "several cases of Chinese citizens who couldn't leave India because of expiration of their visa."

The advisory continued its fear-mongering, saying Chinese citizens in India should "pay close attention to the local security situation, improve self-protection awareness, strengthen security, reduce unnecessary travel."

It also warns the Chinese: "The embassy reminds all Chinese citizens in India to be wary of the situations above in order to secure themselves a safe journey abroad."

Army recruitment roadblocks

The same day, the Chinese MoD released a report that blamed excessive masturbation and consumption of soft drinks — among others — as the reason a rising number of youngsters were failing the physical tests that are necessary to join the People's Liberation Army (PLA).

People's Liberation Army
In picture: Soldiers from the People's Liberation Army of China.Wikimedia Commons

What the website says about obesity while claiming that one out of five applicants fail the weight test can roughly be translated to: "Although the weight criteria has been relaxed, the number of overweight young people increase, mainly due to their undisciplined lifestyle, unhealthy eating, and lack of exercising."

The report also warns that around 8 percent of applicants could not pass the physical tests because of mild-to-severe cases of varicose veins, which it blamed on excessive masturbation and playing video games for too long!